A View from Both Sides: Stash's Story

Adam Baran

The Fun Stuff January 30, 2020

Deeply enmeshed in the queer Brooklyn nightlife, Stash is often seen running around with his camera during drag shows and play parties. He’s fully vers, gleefully perverse and a proud androphile. 

Stash can find something to get into with just about anyone. But everyone has tastes that take precedence over others. I visited him at his beach home, on the edge of the five boroughs, to talk about all the mountains he’s planted his flag in. 

Adam: When you were figuring out who you were, how did you come to being both a top and bottom?

Stash: It was initially people ascribing an identity of bottom onto me because of my physique [Stash is short and slight]. But then I realized most crowds I hang in don't really subscribe to that way of thought. It opened up my versatility in a lot of ways. Now, I’m figuring out which person makes me want to top them or bottom for them.

It was initially people ascribing an identity of bottom onto me because of my physique...but then I realized most crowds I hang in don't really subscribe to that way of thought.

So what are you looking for in both a top and a bottom?

Someone who's definitely very receptive, present and just like aware of what their body is doing and what they want. That's very hot. Knowing what you want. But I don't really have too many proportional attractions to things like size, the butt or the D. I just am usually enamored by whoever the butt or D is attached to.


You’ve said you’re an androphile, right?

Yes. Specifically, attraction to generally masculine-presenting traits, but not being always exclusive to hooking up with cis men. 


What would you say your split is between like topping and bottom? 

I would definitely say, vers with a hard bottom slant.


When you’re bottoming, what kind of steps do you take to prepare for a bottoming experience?

It varies, depending on the intensity of the bottoming experience. If it's a date, I'll just make my meals a little lighter and clean in advance. But let's say a dear friend is planning a gangbang, I'll want to like go the whole nine yards. Maybe I'll drink prune juice or milk of magnesia for a few days beforehand, just to really flush myself out.


Wow. You really don't need to do that much preparation.

Oh, it's not all that much. It's the difference between taking one D or six. I guess it’s more of a confidence thing, not that I'm like inherently poo shy. It happens, but it messes up my flow. 

No one minds poop on their D as much as they would mind poop on someone else's furniture.

Generally, the people who want me to top them are very bearish guys who are into the contrast that that sort of size difference provides.

Do you actually actively go out and seek out bottoms?

Generally, the people who want me to top them are very bearish guys who are into the contrast that that sort of size difference provides. I'm actually kinda getting a little turned on thinking about it right now...


You’re looking for a bigger bottom. I should point out that you’re a much smaller guy on the scale.

I'm not exclusive to topping only bigger guys, but it turns me on.


Is that easy to make happen?

Pretty easy. It's easier than you'd think.


What gets you off about that experience? Is it a David and Goliath thing? That you've topped a really big guy, when you're not big yourself?

Very much so. I've heard the expression ‘jet-packing’ in these situations. I liken it more to planting my flag in a mountain—and I say ‘mountain’ in the most flattering way possible.


I definitely love kissing guys who are taller than me, because I don't experience that as much, being taller.

Sure. I also really like guys who are shorter than me, because that's also hard to find.


In terms of your own preparation for bottoming, do you have a good experience douching? Are the products on the market working for you?

I think it's just a matter of just having a better relationship with your BMs and being aware of what your body does when you eat this or that. I started eating a lot less fast food when I started having more bareback sex, douching, stuff like that.


What three words best describe you as a bottom and as a top?

As a bottom, I would say ‘pup, receptive, eager’. As a top ‘showboat, alpha, b*stard’.

About the author

Adam Baran is a Brooklyn-based filmmaker, writer, curator, nightlife mensch, and pleasure activist. He served as the NY Contributing Editor of celebrated queer publication BUTT Magazine for many years, wrote the first season of the hit gay webseries Hunting Season, and produced the upcoming Netflix documentary Circus of Books.

The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.

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