Everything You Should Know About How to Have Threesomes, Foursomes & Orgies

Having group sex is a common sexual fetish or fantasy. However, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach: group play can vary from sexualities, genders, and other activities involved depending on those participating.

When it comes to participating in group sex for the first time, there's a lot to keep in mind from knowing where to begin or what exactly is involved. That’s exactly why we put together a guide to learn tips for making the most out of any group play experience.

The Types of Group Sex

Threesomes

Whether you and your partner are considering an open relationship or you’re single, but get turned on by the idea of playing with two other people at the same time, threesomes might be just what you’re looking for. Threesomes are great for couples who want to explore their sexualities and bring in someone new for both partners to enjoy. Threesomes can involve bringing in someone just one time or on a more regular basis.

Depending on what you’re into, they aren’t limited to one gender or sexuality since they can be enjoyed by all parties involved, and the same is true about other types of group sex.

Foursomes or “Swinging”

Foursomes — also referred to as “swinging” for those in relationships — can involve sex between two couples swapping partners at the same time, but it can also involve a couple and two single people or four single people. Usually, swinging takes place in the same setting or in the same room with both couples being present and even engaging in foursome positions.

Foursomes are a great option for couples who want to have sex with other people in relationships or in clearly defined dynamics.

Orgy and Sex Parties

Group sex involves sexual practices like group masturbation, gang bangs, and even double penetration. Hosting a sex party can be private for friends and acquaintances, though there are also adult clubs that hold orgy parties for patrons on a regular basis (some even have memberships!). Group play is usually a casual sexual encounter for those involved since they are typically more focused on pleasure than emotional connection.

Tips for Getting Started With Group Sex

When it’s time to get down, it can be hard to know where to begin. Follow these tips to start having fun in your group sex experience:

• Be Bold, But Respectful - Instead of sitting around making awkward small talk, take the initiative to get things started by directly asking someone to join you in personal play. If mutual consent has been granted, move on to the next step.
• Experiment - Because there is no right or wrong way to have group sex, explore different sex positions to see what works best for the group. You can form a chain so everyone is either giving or receiving, ask to be the center of attention (or for someone else to be), or any other combination everyone enjoys. Just don’t forget to take breaks to get a good view of others enjoying each other!
• Take Your Time - Because group sex experiences can overload the senses for first-time participants, be sure to take your time. Fully immerse yourself in both giving and receiving, and trade partners every few minutes for continuous flows of pleasure for everyone.
• Be Thoughtful - Make sure you don’t leave anyone out and check in to confirm everyone feels comfortable and enjoying themselves. This is definitely a situation where open lines of communication are important.
• Pair Up - Though this might not work for everyone, if you have the opportunity to bring someone with you to show you the ropes and help guide you, this might help enhance your first experience.

A Guide to Sex Parties

Sex Party Etiquette

• If you're hosting a sex party, it’s important to talk about the logistics beforehand, like which areas will be off-limits, and make sure you have all the necessary supplies on hand — not just sex-related items, but things like water and towels.
• Sharing important information with your guests ahead of time can help prepare everyone to be comfortable and ready to enjoy themselves.
• Establish boundaries (like whether or not condoms will be available, drugs or alcohol will be allowed, etc.) and have a safe word.
• If you're going to an organized sex party, find out the rules or the general sex party etiquette ahead of time so that you’re prepared.
• Everyone should be required to ask and receive consent before participating in any opportunity that may present itself.
• Getting things started can be awkward even if all the details were discussed previously since people might be in their heads and feeling too shy to have sex outright. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself and others.
• It might be less intimidating or overwhelming by starting off with hooking up with one person then moving up to two, then to three, four, or however many you feel comfortable with.

STIs and Safer Sex

Although there’s a risk of STIs with any sexual encounter, there is an increased risk of transmission when you’re having sex with more than one sexual partner at a time. It’s important to practice safer sex when you’re having sex with multiple people. Safer sex comes in many different forms:

• Getting tested for STIs and Covid-19 right before the party (as well as 3-5 days after)
• Taking PrEP or TasP Using condoms, dental dams, and latex gloves
• Getting vaccinated for HPV and Covid-19
• Ask your doctor about prophylactics, depending on your level of risk.

Unless it’s strictly a condom-free party, it can also be helpful to keep a bowl of condoms, dental dams, latex gloves, and lube nearby for guests to utilize throughout the event.

The Bottom Line

Group sex can elicit many different emotions, from exciting, to overwhelming, and pleasurable. With the right preparation — both mentally and physically — we hope to set you up for a successful first experience in group sex.

#TLDR: there’s no right way to have group sex, so feel free to explore different activities and configurations, and see what feels best. Remember to stay in the moment and have fun, and always ask for (and receive) consent.