Playing with (Butt) Toys: 101

Dr. Evan Goldstein

The Fun Stuff January 23, 2020

At Future Method, we believe that—whether it’s with fingers, a toy or the real thing—there’s no bottom that couldn’t benefit from a little exploration every once in a while. If you’re completely new to bottoming and back door fun, or you just want to broaden your horizons a little, then butt plugs and toys are a great place to start. 

Toys are a great way of exploring if butt play is your kind of play, be it on your own or with a partner (or partners). Like the behinds they’re designed for, toys come in all shapes and sizes. Here are a few clear-cut tips to find where you should start and what you should try to avoid.  

Start slow, then grow

Many butt toys have a rather bulbous “tip”, so using these for your first dilation can be somewhat traumatic. Top tip: if it looks like a doorknob, it will feel like sticking a doorknob in your butt.

Top tip: if it looks like a doorknob, it will feel like sticking a doorknob in your butt.

Ideally, your first kit should feature three distinct sizes that increase in a subtle, yet noticeable, way. Find a set that has a more cone-like or tapered design, which lets your butt musculature relax gradually as you guide the toy in. 

Our article, Bottoming for Beginners, offers advice on the best routine to get you fully dilated, if that’s your goal. Another great tip: use lots of lube (you can read more about lube here).

Make sure you think about how to pull it out, not just push it in...

Look for a toy whose base goes directly to the handle (i.e. one that doesn’t have a narrowing or ‘neck’ between the handle and the part you play with). This is a good idea, as it means you can’t leave the toy inside you completely for prolonged periods of time. This can cause swelling in the region, leading to hemorrhoids and/or tearing, especially when it’s time to take the toy out.

Using a toy with ‘balls’ is also a definite positive—they not only make your experience more realistic, but also from a medical perspective, this barrier prevents you losing the toy completely inside your butt (a definite win-win).

No hands and all angles 

Toys with suction cups are available that permit mobile, hands-free play. Per the above, the suction cup also helps keep at least part of the toy safely outside your butt at all times. 

As you start to experiment more, you must remember there are multiple facets that can enhance or limit your play, with higher chances of local trauma and injury. Bear in mind the angle of your pelvis in relation to the toy you’re using. Depending on that angle, the toy may aim towards the front or back of your butt canal. This might be pleasurable, but it might also be painful on your prostate (for guys) or the sacrum (the base of your spine). 

By all means experiment, but make sure you consider your height, pelvic angle, and where you stick this thing, and adjust where needed. That way, you keep things fun but keep things safe as well.

About the author

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Co-Founder of Future Method and the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, the leading private practice in health and wellness for gay men. He received his MD from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Goldstein is the go-to butt and bottoming expert, having been published in Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Healthline, and more. Learn about Dr. Goldstein by visiting his practice,

The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.


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