In popular culture, there appears to be an increasing acceptance of and curiosity toward butt play. Whether you call it bottoming, pegging, or simply butt stuff, it’s worth exploring for those who have a prostate gland, otherwise known as the “P-spot” or male G-spot. If you already have—you know exactly why. Butt for the butt-curious, read on to find out more about the P-spot.
What is the P-Spot?
The P-spot, also known as the prostate, is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid in ejaculate and also helps propel semen when you climax. It’s present in people assigned male at birth and is surrounded by nerve endings. Thankfully, most anal toys, strap-ons, (and Ds) are already angled for direct access, so it shouldn’t be hard to find.
How to Find the P-Spot
If you’re interested in exploring your p-spot – either on your own or with a partner – it’s important to know where exactly to find this highly sensitive portal to orgasmic bliss. If it’s your first time, I recommend practicing on your own, which reduces the pressure to perform and allows you to go at your own pace to explore what feels good (and what doesn’t).
The p-spot is a smooth walnut-shaped gland, located just below the bladder, and about 6-8 cm inside your rectum, towards the penis (away from your tailbone). Compared to the surrounding tissue, it’s quite firm, which makes it easier to determine if you’ve found the right spot or not.
Before you start, here are some handy tips to help set the stage:
- Make sure you have plenty of anal-safe lube on hand–literally. Silicone-based lube is the best because of its unmatched slickness. Learn more about how to use lube for your bottom before you jump in.
- Trim and clean your fingernails or find toys specifically designed for prostate stimulation that expertly take the guesswork out of locating your prostate
- Cleanse with an isotonic douche if you want the added confidence that your booty is prepped–inside and out. If you’re new to this, read our guide on how to douche for anal sex.
- Find a patient and experienced partner who will help explore your body at a pace that you’re comfortable with. Maintain open and honest communication with each other, so that everyone knows what feels good and what doesn’t. Rimming, fingering, and toy-play also make for great foreplay if bottoming is on the agenda. It also helps pre-dilate and pre-lubricate the anal canal, which ensures a smooth and safe ride from start to finish
When you’re ready to dive in, here's how to locate the prostate and enjoy the experience to the fullest:
- Apply copious amounts of lube on your or your partner’s finger and very slowly insert until you hit resistance.
- Leave your finger there for a few seconds before removing it and applying more lube. Do this again, each time reaching a little further inside.
- Once you feel comfortable with the entire finger, feel around until you find the prostate. It’ll be firm, flat, smooth, and about the size of a walnut.
- Most people recommend the “come here” or “come hither” stroking or plucking motion, but I find that this can easily irritate the prostate and even cause prostatitis. Instead, I recommend massaging the prostate by starting at the outer edges and then inward on each lobe (left and right). This is not only more gentle for the prostate, but it actually can help milk the prostate, by appropriately moving the prostatic juices into the center of the prostate, which helps release it once it’s ready.
- Because most people intend to ejaculate / orgasm during prostate stimulation, it’s important to pay attention to other erogenous zones of the body. Feel free to stimulate the penis, testicles, and even the perineum (the small external space between the testicles and the anus). You can even perform oral sex to help bring your partner to orgasm while stimulating their prostate.
How to Stimulate the Male G-Spot
The prostate is a highly sought-after area of pleasure because it is surrounded by nerve endings. When you climax while stimulating your P-spot (known as a prostate orgasm), it will feel relatively similar to having an orgasm just from touching yourself, except that it is way more intense and can be felt throughout the entire body.
It’s important to experiment with different angles, heights, and positions of both you and your partner (or toy) to see how best to stimulate your P-spot. For beginners who don't want to jump straight to penetration, simply stimulating your perineum (the area between your anus and scrotum) via rubbing or stroking is a great introduction to your p-spot. Experiencing pleasure, pain, or unprecedented ecstasy all comes down to your pelvic floor angulation, the angle of insertion, what size toy or penis you're inserting, etc, so you need to pay close attention to the curvature of your partner or your toy. However, there are prostate-specific toys that are great for beginners since they were designed to take the guesswork out of this type of stimulation.
What Are the Best Positions for Hitting the Male G-Spot?
If either your anal toy or partner curves upward, then the best way to hit your P-spot and reach a prostate orgasm is by facing each other. This means missionary and cowboy (and any variations of these) will be best. On the other hand, if your partner or toy curves downward, you’ll want to try positions where you aren’t facing each other, like reverse cowboy, doggy, and spooning. Of course, any position can feel great, but if you truly want to experience a P-spot climax, finding the right position will help maximize your pleasure.
Is P-Spot Stimulation Painful?
For some people, the sensations at first may feel like you have to use the bathroom (don’t worry—if you’ve prepared with the Future Method Intimate Wash and Butt & Gut Pre + Probiotic, you won’t actually go). With time and experience, you’ll get used to this.
If done properly, meaning with ample dilation, copious amounts of lube, and a patient partner, you shouldn’t experience any pain. However, most people are not aware that the P-spot is very sensitive—in a good way and a bad way. If you pound it too hard or too repetitively, it can get irritated and cause prostatitis. If this happens, you may need a helping hand—literally. Use one or two well-manicured fingers (long nails are a no-no) to massage your prostate from the outside, in, on one side (and the same on the other side). This moves the fluid into the correct place (some call it ‘milking the prostate’), helping release it (and the pressure) when you come. Not only will this hopefully relieve your prostatitis, but it’ll also give you a mind-blowing climax.
The Difference Between Penile and P-Spot Orgasm
A prostate orgasm can result in sensations that are felt throughout the entire body -- from head to toe -- rather than just focused on the genital area or penis. It's almost like a whole body “high".
If you’ve never felt a P-spot climax before, I think it’s time for you to try. The sensation is beyond anything you’ve ever felt before. Before you dive in with a partner, set aside some time for self-experimentation and exploration. There’s less pressure to perform when you’re alone and you’ll be able to find out what feels good (and what doesn’t). Why do you think so many bottoms crave the big D? It’s not only for the act of full penetration, but also P-spot stimulation.
The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.