In popular culture, there appears to be an increasing acceptance of and curiosity toward butt play. Whether you call it bottoming, pegging, or simply butt stuff, it’s worth exploring for those who have a prostate gland, otherwise known as the “P-spot” or male G-spot. If you already have—you know exactly why. Butt for the butt-curious, read on to find out more about the P-spot.
What is the Male G-Spot or “P-Spot”?
The P-spot, also known as the prostate, is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid in ejaculate and also helps propel semen when you climax. It’s present in people assigned male at birth and is surrounded by nerve endings. Thankfully, most anal toys, strap-ons, (and Ds) are already angled for direct access, so it shouldn’t be hard to find.
Where is the P-Spot?
If you’re interested in exploring your p-spot or stimulating your partner’s – it’s important to know where exactly to find this highly sensitive portal to orgasmic bliss. If it’s your first time, I recommend practicing on your own or having an open conversation with your partner, which reduces the pressure to perform and allows you to go at your own pace. This will give you and your partner time to explore what feels good (and what doesn’t).
The p-spot is a smooth walnut-shaped gland, located just below the bladder, and about 6-8 cm inside the rectum, towards the penis (away from the tailbone). Compared to the surrounding tissue, it’s quite firm, which makes it easier to determine if you’ve found the right spot or not.
8 Steps for Finding The Male G-Spot:
- Trim and clean your fingernails or opt for specially designed toys for prostate stimulation.
- Consider cleansing with an isotonic anal douche for added confidence.
- Engage in anal foreplay like rimming, fingering, or toy-play to pre-dilate and pre-lubricate the anal canal.
- Apply plenty of lube to your finger or your partner's and slowly insert until you hit resistance.
- Pause for a few seconds, reapply lube, and continue inserting gradually.
- Once comfortable, feel around until you locate the walnut-sized, firm, flat, and smooth prostate.
- Massage the prostate gently by starting at the outer edges and moving inward on each lobe.
Dr. Goldstein’s advice: “Most people recommend the “come here” or “come hither” stroking or plucking motion, but I find that this can easily irritate the prostate and even cause prostatitis. Instead, I recommend massaging the prostate by starting at the outer edges and then inward on each lobe (left and right). This is not only more gentle for the prostate, but it actually can help milk the prostate.”
- Pay attention to other erogenous zones for a more pleasurable experience.
How to Stimulate the Male G-Spot
The prostate is an incredibly pleasurable area packed with nerve endings. Stimulating it can lead to intense whole-body orgasms, distinct from regular self-touch orgasms or orgasms from penile stimulation alone.
Experiment with angles, heights, and positions to find the best stimulation. For beginners who don't want to jump straight to penetration, simply stimulating your perineum (the area between your anus and scrotum) via rubbing or stroking is a great introduction to the p-spot.
For optimal pleasure (and to avoid pain), pay attention to you or your partner’s pelvic floor angulation, the angle of insertion, and toy size.
The Best Positions for Hitting the Male G-Spot
- If the toy or partner curves upward, try face-to-face positions like missionary or cowboy.
- If it curves downward, explore non-face-to-face positions like reverse cowboy, doggy, or spooning.
Don’t Forget About the Other Erogenous Zones
Because most people intend to ejaculate during prostate stimulation, feel free to stimulate the penis, testicles, and even the perineum (the small external space between the testicles and the anus). You can even perform oral sex to help bring your partner to orgasm while stimulating their prostate.
What if Nothing Happens?
Every body (and everybody) is built differently! What feels great for one person might not feel so great for another. You or your partner may not be a personal fan of prostate stimulation, and that’s fine!
Alternatively, you might just need a little bit of trial-and-error to find what you do love about your male g-spot. Take a break, give yourself some room to breathe, and consider trying a different approach like:
- Inviting your partner to help,
- Using a little more lubricant to smooth the way,
- Switching up your position
- Trying out a sex toy like a prostate massager or strap-on,
- Warming up with extra foreplay beforehand.
Is P-Spot Stimulation Painful?
While you may feel some discomfort while trying out your P-spot, it shouldn’t be painful. If you’re feeling a lot of pain, don’t continue - stop and regroup, figure out what went wrong.
For some people, the sensations at first may feel like you have to use the bathroom (don’t worry—if you’ve prepared with the Future Method Intimate Wash and Butt & Gut Pre + Probiotic, you won’t actually go). With time and experience, you’ll get used to this.
If done properly, meaning with ample dilation, copious amounts of lube, and a patient partner, you shouldn’t experience any pain. However, most people are not aware that the P-spot is very sensitive—in a good way and a bad way. If you pound it too hard or too repetitively, it can get irritated and cause prostatitis. If this happens, you may need a helping hand—literally. Use one or two well-manicured fingers (long nails are a no-no) to massage your prostate from the outside, in, on one side (and the same on the other side). This moves the fluid into the correct place (some call it ‘milking the prostate’), helping release it (and the pressure) when you come. Not only will this hopefully relieve your prostatitis, but it’ll also give you a mind-blowing climax.
The Difference Between Penile and Prostate Orgasms
A p-spot orgasm can result in sensations that are felt throughout the entire body -- from head to toe -- rather than just focused on the genital area or penis. It's almost like a whole body “high".
Bottoms up: The P-Spot in Conclusion
If you’ve never felt a P-spot climax before, I think it’s time for you to try. The sensation is beyond anything you’ve ever felt before. Before you dive in with a partner, set aside some time for self-experimentation and exploration. There’s less pressure to perform when you’re alone and you’ll be able to find out what feels good (and what doesn’t). Why do you think so many bottoms crave the big D? It’s not only for the act of full penetration, but also P-spot stimulation.