Did you know that on, September 25 2019, the US Bill of Rights turned 230 years old? The first 10 amendments to the United States Constitution laid out the essential principles that gave broad freedoms to Americans, such as the freedom of speech and the fifth amendment. Even though we’ve been debating these amendments for centuries on both sides of the political aisle, the Bill of Rights has unquestionably shaped the idea of what it means to live and be free in America.
As we at Future Method embark on a bold journey to improve the lives of bottoms and bottom-curious people everywhere, we thought it would be essential to draft our own intimacy--affirmative Bill of Rights for Bottoms, setting out what we, experienced bottoms each of us, believe our rights as receptive bottoms consist of, with explanations for each of our amendments.
You have the right to bottom however makes you feel happiest.
We believe that however you like to bottom, it’s okay by us. Maybe you like to take enormous D, maybe you prefer them smaller. Maybe you bottom every once in a while. Maybe you need it three times a day. Maybe you prefer toys to the real thing, and spend your evenings riding solo. Maybe you prefer your fingers. Or your boyfriend’s whole hand. There is no wrong way to be the intimate being - or the bottom - that you are. You have our permission to be yourself.
You have the right to a thorough and affirmative intimacy education and health care system.
If one is going to get intimate and, more specifically, bottom it is your right to have access to doctors who don’t flinch during discussions of butt health or other intimate practices. Moreover, one deserves to develop a long-standing relationship with a qualified queer/queer-ally doctor, proctologist and gastroenterologist to ensure that you have someone who is paying attention, and we mean solid attention, to your butt. Additionally, reliable education that pays no heed to myths and misinformation is paramount.
Shame and pain have no place in bottoming. Unless you want it to.
Some people like the pain of a hard hookups or the intense feelings that occur during intense sessions. Some people like to be called names, demeaned, made to feel like a hole without a body attached. But these kinds of things are things you want to be talking to your partner about first. Not doing so could lead to an awkward moment where you and your partner are actually operating on different wavelengths. Once you’ve agreed on a vibe - and there must be agreement - you can proceed in building the scene that is about to unfold and engaging with your partner(s).
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No one has the right to tell you that your way of engaging intimately is wrong, unless you are violating someone’s consent.
Straight society has tried to make the LGBT community feel shame about our desires for centuries, and one of their most successful practices was reminding sympathetic ears that ‘you know who’ did ‘you know what’ with their butts. Never mind the fact that butt intimacy is just as popular with straight people, or that proper preparation works.
We as gay men have no reason to behave like bigots and make fun of bottoms, whether insatiable, bossy, passive, or otherwise. Differences should be celebrated, not demeaned. There is no hierarchy of intimate behavior. Tops are not more masculine and bottoms are not lower or more feminine. Femme, butch, vers, sub, whatever type of bottom you are, you’re a winner, baby.
The bottom is in control of the situation and their word goes.
For butt intimacy to work, as mentioned above, partners have to be in agreement and develop a rhythm, as it’s a truly intimate act, even if the settings are anything but(t). The bottom decides when he is ready, how much to take and for how long, the position that most gives them pleasure. Tops may, of course, be consulted and asked for help if needed with fingers and toys to loosen things up. Though the dominant role may appear (on the surface) to be the top, deep down, every bottom must know that they are fully in control of their own destiny. The bottom reserves the right to change positions for comfortability or pleasure, and also end play at any time they desire.
The right to make mistakes is the essence of being a bottom.
The number of bottoms who had a 100% perfect experience during their first time is minimal. It takes some time getting used to the feelings, the pain, the intensity, the internalized shame that can emerge, and find one’s way to the pleasurable place that makes bottoming wonderful. Therefore, bottoms have the right to make mistakes, and no one should hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes. Real intimacy is different from adult movies, so sometimes a leg cramps up, a position becomes uncomfortable or things get a little messy even though all precautions were taken. Every bottom deserves to be forgiven for their mistakes and taken for another spin by their top(s), without a federal case being made about it, or gossip being bandied about.
Self-identifying as a bottom doesn’t mean that one can’t also top.
With profiles on apps forcing us to classify ourselves, sometimes we can get stuck in our roles. There’s no reason that you can’t just suddenly decide to switch things up - with conversation of course to make sure the intentions are clear and both parties agree. Sometimes when we wear the label of proud bottom, it can keep us locked into one avenue, one practice. How we identify grows and develops, it takes detours. If one is open to the unexpected and game for surprises one may feel pride in expanding one’s horizons in wonderfully stimulating ways.
Gear and underwear sure are cute, but they’re not required for you to be a perfect bottom.
I hope by now you’re starting to get the message that there’s no one right way to be the perfect bottom. A lot of times those of us who travel in certain social circles are expected to rock a certain look for a certain party. But this stuff is just enhancement. It can be wonderful to induce self-confidence with a cute jockstrap or pair of briefs, but clothes don’t make the bottom. The bottom makes the bottom.
Free your mind. Your butt will follow.
It shouldn’t really need to be said, but we see on apps, time and time again, gay men stating their “preferences” as being emphatically NOT certain races, body types, mannerisms, positions, and ages. We also see the flip side, where gay men state that they prefer a certain race and speaking to and about them in fetishizing ways. Open up your mind to the possibility that every type of person has something to offer that is worth experiencing and engaging with intimately. We are here to prop each other up, not tear each other down.
You have the right to well-made products made specifically by professionals who understand bottoming.
We want you to play better and experience fewer awkward moments. We want you to be able to engage and feel free, pursuing your path as a bottom without fear. You deserve access to health care and play products offered by LGBT professionals who think about gay man. Who understand how they play - and their bodily care - when they design and manufacture a cleansing formula, toy or anything else. Before you put something in your body, consider what you’re putting in your body. Don’t be embarrassed to demand more. Know your rights!
Tops will be patient. Every bottom has a different routine and time-frame.
If both can host, the bottom (who has to prepare) decides the meeting location.
No "tap-tap" before everything is inside.
Age difference is irrelevant.
Do what you feel!
The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.