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Have you tried backdoor fun? Earlier this year, we surveyed over 600 American straight women and gay men because we wanted to see how their butts compared. We found out that 56% of straight women engage in butt play less than once a year, while 25% do it at least twice a month compared to 63% of gay men who do it more than once a month. There are a couple of things that come to mind to help explain this difference. The first is that there are fears about pain or poop. The second is the assumption that without a prostate or a male g-spot, there’s no way it could possibly be pleasurable.The good news is: if done right, you shouldn’t experience any pain or possibly come in contact with any poop (especially if you prepare with our Intimate Cleanser), and you could stimulate your A-spot (or A-zone or, if you want to get technical, “anterior fornix erogenous zone”) to experience a unique, full-body climax.
What is an A-spot and how does it compare to the P-spot?
The P-spot is a walnut-shaped gland that is present in people assigned male at birth. While those with and without a vagina have an “A-spot”, they are slightly different. If you don’t have a prostate, you can still climax through your bum because of its close proximity to the nerve endings of the V wall and pelvic floor, along with internal butt pleasure regions.
Where is the A-spot?
It may be more appropriate to consider the "A-spot" as more of an "A-zone" due to the plethora of nerve endings and the absence of a prostate (which is an actual “spot”). You’ll find this area on the front wall of the vagina, towards the back (between the cervix and the bladder, about 4-6” inside). It can be reached directly through the vagina or indirectly through the anus.
Due to the close proximity of your butt to the V wall, cervix, and pelvic floor, it’s possible to find pleasure and even orgasm via indirect contact (read: butt play). A lot of women get off simply because the opening of the butt and the canal are sensitive, erogenous zones in and of themselves. So while you may not get off from just butt play by itself, the butt has so many nerve endings that, when stimulated properly, you'll feel incredible sensations from head to toe and potentially see enhanced lubrication. Think of it like a whole-body “high" rather than just a climax that’s concentrated in the V or C.
Can I come from butt play?
People can definitely reach climax from backdoor fun; however, some people’s bodies make this easier than others. Factors include pelvic floor angulation, the angle of insertion, and the size and natural curvature of your partner (or toy). For those who can come just by V stimulation, it may be easier for you to climax through butt play; however, people who typically need C stimulation will probably also need that for butt play, too. But the combination of sensations from A, C, and V stimulation can be explosive (in a good way)! Finding the right combination can take time so don’t get discouraged if you don’t experience a mind-blowing climax at your first rodeo. One other important tip is—don’t worry if you suddenly feel like you have to go to the bathroom. This is a perfectly normal sensation (feeling “full” is another way people describe this) and takes some time getting used to. To help boost your confidence, try preparing with our Intimate Wash first.
What’s the best way to find and explore my A-spot?
The A-spot is deeper than your G spot, roughly one to two inches. I suggest purchasing an anal toy (one that has a slight curvature) or a prostate toy (even if you don’t have one). To find your A-spot, insert the toy with the curvature facing upward, toward your belly.
Sex toys
I prefer people start experimenting with a toy, like the plusOne® dual vibrating arc, that’s been designed for butt play (read: it has a base so that it doesn’t get lost inside you) and do it by yourself. This allows you to explore how to hit the correct zones of stimulations without feeling pressure from your partner to perform. You’ll want to take your time trying out different positions, seeing what works and what doesn’t. Then you can bring this into partner play when you’re comfortable. It’s important to remember that the V wall is very thin and some people may experience more internal pain from hitting this wall and the cervix, while others say it feels great. You’ll want to take your time preparing by pre-dilation.
Experiment with your partner
Once you’re ready, you can introduce your partner to the fun. I always suggest that you take a more dominating role at the beginning, which means you on top. Just like you did with your toy, you’ll have to play around and find what angles and positions work best to see what walls create the sensations you are looking for (and which ones create discomfort). I’ve heard that many women love when they’re being penetrated towards their stomach. This means having the toy or D hit more towards the shared A and V wall. Of course, start slow and listen to your body and remain open lines of communication with your partner.
Best positions for the A-spot
Don’t forget—the pelvic floor is all connected. Therefore, some positions may contract the pelvic floor better than others, causing both anal and vaginal stimulations that are pleasurable, while some people may find anal stimulation and/or a-spot stimulation uncomfortable or even painful. That’s why it’s so important people experiment with anal and a-spot play on their own to see what feels good (and what doesn’t) and not to be discouraged if anal play simply isn’t for them.
The best positions for a-spot stimulation are ones where the anterior wall (the wall between the anus and cervix) is the target. Depending on the shape of the toy or curvature of your partner’s penis, these positions will vary.
I recommend starting on top, either in cowgirl if your partner curves upward or reverse cowgirl if your partner curves downward. Much like p-spot stimulation, you should focus your aim towards your belly button and away from your tailbone. When you’re on top, you also have the benefit of controlling the speed and depth of penetration, which is key for newbies. You can easily lean forward or backward to adjust how well your partner is hitting your a-spot. Once you feel comfortable switching things up, you can explore a modified missionary with you holding your legs towards your chest. This will allow your partner a direct shot of your anal canal and much further depth, while also allowing your partner to simultaneously stimulate your clitoris. Unfortunately, doggy style typically won't provide the a-spot stimulation unless your partner curves downward. However, if your partner points straight as an arrow, you will still feel the immense pleasures of anal stimulation. Believe it or not, prostate toys can also be used for a-spot stimulation because they’re designed to naturally curve upwards — don’t let the name dissuade you!
Lastly, if you want to engage in both V and A play in the same session, you’re okay to go from the V to the A, but not the other way around. No one wants vaginal infections!
Feel for yourself
If you’re curious about butt play but have been hesitant to try it, I hope this guide helps to provide clarity on some common misconceptions and highlight the benefits of exploring your tush. Trying butt play also provides a heightened sense of emotional connectivity with your partner and sometimes this, in and of itself, can help you “get off” in ways that you may not with other forms of play. Whether you’re looking to switch things up, broaden your horizons, or simply check it off your bucket list, I encourage you to try and find your A-spot (even if you only do so for a bit of foreplay). It may open up a hole new world of pleasure.
