The Ultimate Guide to Exciting First-Time Anal Play for Straight Men

Dr. Evan Goldstein

December 08, 2023

Feeling a little bit curious about your back door? It’s time to talk about anal play for straight men!

Anal play can be great for people of all genders and sexualities, especially people with a prostate. It's a personal choice, and there's no right or wrong way to approach it. Take your time, communicate openly, and enjoy the journey of discovery together with your partner.

Why a Straight Guy Might Want to Consider Anal Play

There are many reasons you might be feeling curious about your butt! First and foremost, human sexuality is diverse and can't be neatly categorized. Wanting to explore your body and desires is a natural part of human curiosity and self-discovery. And through experimentation, you are allowing yourself to figure out what might feel incredible and make you want to keep doing it, as well as things that just aren’t that pleasurable or exciting. As they say, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! For straight men, your prostate means you’ve got a whole new pleasure center to check out.

The prostate (aka the P-spot or male G-spot) is surrounded by a plethora of pleasurable nerve endings, which can bring you to a full-body orgasm. That’s right – a prostate orgasm is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced through penile-only masturbation or penetration (as the insertive partner). Plenty of straight men enjoy the prostate being stimulated in a variety of ways. Check out our guide to the male G-spot to learn more.

Just as people of any gender may have diverse interests and preferences, a straight man might be curious about anal play as a means of expanding his sexual experiences and understanding his body in new ways.

Does Anal Play Mean I’m Gay?

Hell, no! Being gay has everything to do with who you like, not what you like to do in the bedroom. People of all sexualities have enjoyed anal play through the years, so don’t limit yourself due to worries about your sexuality.

It's completely normal for men to be curious about anal play. Exploring new sensations is a natural aspect of human sexuality, and enjoying male anal play doesn’t make you gay.

Steps for Getting Started With Anal Play as a Straight Man

Exploring anal play should always be consensual, respectful, and based on mutual comfort and interest. It should also start slow and with a lot of practice.

Begin a Conversation

Start by discussing desires, boundaries, and any concerns either you or your partner might have. Be attentive to verbal and non-verbal cues, ensuring that both individuals feel safe and respected throughout the conversation.

Consent should be enthusiastic, ongoing, and never assumed! Your partner should be checking in on you often, and remember that consent can be revoked at any time. As we mentioned previously, through experimentation, you might find that anal sex simply isn’t your cup of tea, and you should be open and honest with your partner(s) if your desires ever change.

Ongoing communication is key to maintaining a consensual and enjoyable experience for you and your partner as you start to explore the joys of anal play for guys.

Get Ready & Comfortable

Once you’ve talked through your boundaries and desires you’ll want to get ready and comfortable to start your play!

Find somewhere you and your partner are both comfortable, then wash up to start. For you, this could mean a quick rinse in the shower, while your partner needs to wash up anything you’re planning on using in your play session.

If you decide to start (or end) with internal stimulation, ensure that your hands and any toys you use are clean and have no rough edges that could cause injury. Always make sure you and your partner wash hands and clean items that might be used first.

Nervous about any unwanted “surprises”? Numerous TikTok and Instagram videos feature uninformed straight men expressing concerns about potential poop issues when it comes to any form of anal exploration, even just a finger. While on one side, we’re all human, and shit happens, on the other side, an important anatomy lesson will help put your fears to rest. If once you’ve brushed up on your anal anatomy, you still find yourself wanting an extra boost of confidence, don’t worry – it’s perfectly normal. That’s where an internal cleanse comes into play (no pun intended). We encourage you to check out anal douching to get primed and ready before you dive in.


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Take Your Time

The key to successful anal play is patience and relaxation. Tension can cause your sphincter muscles to tighten, which will lead to discomfort. So, take deep breaths (think yoga breaths – in through your nose and out through your mouth) and go at a pace that feels right for you. Beginning with external stimulation around the anus, like gentle touching or massage or even analingus, may help you and your partner become more comfortable with the idea. Anal play isn’t something that you should just dive into without proper foreplay to help put the body and mind at ease.

Gentle touches, caresses, or massages around the anal area can gradually introduce you to the experience. Using copious amounts of high-quality, silicone-based lubricant is crucial to reduce friction and enhance comfort. As you become more comfortable, consider introducing a well-lubricated finger for gentle insertion, ensuring to progress at a pace that suits your comfort level. Just remember to keep your nails short and smooth (jagged edges or long nails can cause injury to the delicate skin of the rectum).

If you or your partner feel any pain or discomfort, stop immediately. Anal play should never be forced, and it's essential to listen to each other's cues.

Lube It Up!

Using lube is absolutely essential for anal play due to the lack of natural lubrication in the anus and rectal area. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not have self-lubricating capabilities. This can lead to friction and discomfort during any form of penetration, potentially increasing the risk of injury.

Lube reduces friction and makes the experience more comfortable and pleasurable. Opting for a silicone-based lubricant is important since their slickness and endurance are unmatched, and they’re compatible with most condoms. Water-based lubricants tend to dry out too quickly or get sticky, which isn’t ideal for anal play. And remember: spit isn’t lube!

Start with Dilators & Toys

Once you and your partner are comfortable with your fingers, you might be curious about strap-ons, dildos, or other sex toys. If you opt for toys, start with smaller ones specifically designed for anal play (e.g. there is a flared base to help prevent them from accidentally slipping inside you), then gradually increase in size as you become more comfortable.

Anal dilators are a great way to get accustomed to anal play, especially if you want to participate in pegging. Anal dilators are available in various sizes, starting from smaller ones and gradually increasing in diameter. This progressive training can help you gradually build tolerance and accommodate larger objects or penetrative activities over time.

Some guys also find that using anal dilators can be enjoyable entirely on its own! Anal dilators can stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in the anal area, potentially enhancing sexual experiences.

Start Exploring New Positions

Once you’re comfortable with some simple anal play, you can try switching positions or combining sex acts. Not sure where to start on positions? Try these!

  • Cowboy, Cowgirl, or Cowabunga: This is my favorite position to start in because it gives the receiving partner (the bottom) full control over the depth and speed of penetration. It also positions both parties face-to-face, which allows everyone to read facial cues and openly communicate about what’s working and what isn’t.

  • Spooning: This position involves both partners lying on their sides, with one partner's front pressed against the other partner's back. It allows for comfortable and intimate penetration from behind, and it's particularly suitable for a gentle introduction to anal play.

  • Reverse Cowboy, Cowgirl, or Cowabunga: This position is similar to regular cowboy, cowgirl, or cowabunga; however, they face away from each other (hence the use of “reverse” in the name). This still gives the receiving partner the control on how fast you’re moving and how deep penetration goes, but it takes away the ability to reach facial cues (not to mention kissing!).

  • Doggy Style: This classic position involves one partner on all fours, with the penetrating partner entering from behind. It can provide deeper penetration and access to the prostate, making it a common choice for male anal play. I would recommend leaving this for last, once you’ve mastered the initial entries because it puts the insertive partner in full control, leaving the receiving partner in a submission position (literally).

  • Bent Over a Surface: Always a classic. With the receiving partner bent over a piece of furniture or a surface like a table, desk, or bed, the penetrating partner can enter from behind. This position allows for easy access and control over the depth and angle of penetration. Similar to doggy style, this should be reserved for more advanced play.

You also could try combining male anal play with other activities to spice them up. Maybe you want your partner to penetrate you while you’re going down on them, or maybe you want all the attention on you. It’s up to you!


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Learn More With Future Method

We hope you’re feeling more comfortable with the concept of anal play for straight men after reading our guide. Future Method provides great products for people of all genders and sexualities to empower them, no matter how people choose to play.

Browse our collection to see how we can help you adventure further in the bedroom. Our Butt + Body scrub is a great way to clean up after your foray into the backdoor. Get clean, soft skin down there with our doctor-formulated scrub.

About the author

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Co-Founder of Future Method and the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, the leading private practice in health and wellness for gay men. He received his MD from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Goldstein is the go-to butt and bottoming expert, having been published in Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Healthline, and more. Learn about Dr. Goldstein by visiting his practice,


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