Published on: 3/10/23
Periodt. Werk. Queen. While these terms were once used exclusively by LGBTQ+ people as a way to converse in public without outing — or endangering themselves — shows like RuPaul's Drag Race (which is in its 15th season and running) are bringing LGBTQ+ vernacular into the spotlight. So much so, that even phrases like “yas, queen” and “slay” are making their way into the mainstream. With more and more people outside of the LGBTQ+ community adopting this gay slang, it’s worth mentioning where it all began — enter drag queens of color. Many of the popular terms we use today are thanks to the world of drag, which originated in Harlem, New York, at a time when drag queens slayed the runaway in spaces predominantly made up of African Americans.
So whether you self-identify as a “cub” (a younger looking “bear” a.k.a. someone who is strong, hairy, and lumberjack-esque) or a “lipstick lesbian” (an ultra-feminine lesbian), the team here at Future Method wanted to open our LGBTQ+ glossary up to educate and pay tribute to all the queens who have come before. Using Google Trends search data, we were able to shed light on the most popular LGBTQ+ terms in every state. Keep reading to see the most beloved gay term in your state and shoot us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) to add to our list.
Most Popular Gay Slang Terms in the US by State in 2023
You may be surprised to learn which certain gay slang terms came out on the top (or bottom). “Twink” was the most popular term in five states, including Illinois, Maine, Nebraska, Nevada, and Rhode Island. There’s nothing like a slender, naturally smooth male with a boyish smile to fulfill your wildest fantasies in the bedroom.
“Daddy,” “queen,” and “purr” are tied for second on our list, each capturing three states. “Daddy” was the most popular term in Kansas, Oklahoma, and Virginia. We can all agree there’s no better turn-on than being called “daddy” during sex — for straight and queer people alike.
“Queen” reigned supreme in Kentucky, Louisiana, and Maryland while “purr” dominated in Idaho, North Dakota, and Wisconsin.
“Service top” had the highest search interest in Arizona and Texas, while “vers” was the most popular term in the District of Columbia and South Dakota. Whether you’re willing to be a bottom or a top, paying attention to your partner's needs is always a win-win in our book.
No matter if you identify as a “twink,” a “daddy,” or a “service top,” you’ll love our lineup of sex-positive products to help prepare you for the best butt sex of your life.
Most Popular Gay Slang Terms in the US Overall
To discover the gay terminology people are the most (bi)curious about online, we looked at which terms were googled the most each month.
“Queer” stole the number one spot on our list with a monthly search volume (MSV) of 353,000. The #queer also has 19.8 billion views on TikTok and is used by queer creators like Dylan Mulvaney to spread awareness and pride — yas queen! The term “femboy” rolls into our number two spot with an MSV of 245,000. A “femboy” or effeminate male is simply someone who you may catch in skirts, eyeliner, and long pretty eyelashes.
The gay term “twink” captures the third spot, while “bussy” falls into spot number four on our list with MSVs of 132,000 and 91,000, respectively.
LGBTQ+ Terms Everyone Should KnowThere are certain LGBTQ+ terms that everyone in the 21st century should know. Below are some PG-related LGBTQ+ terms and their definitions that can be used in everyday conversation.
- Auntie - An older female or male in the LGBTQ community who is the go-to person for advice or sage wisdom
- Ally - Typically someone who is straight and/or cisgender, who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ+ community.
- Baby gay - Someone who has newly come out of the closet and is starting their journey as an openly gay individual
- Beard - A boy or girl that is used for publicity purposes to conceal that someone (usually a celebrity) is really gay.
- Bop - A catchy song that you want to play on repeat
- Butch - Typically used to describe a masculine woman
- CisHet - Describes someone who is both heterosexual (a person who is attracted to someone of the opposite sex of their own), as well as someone who is cis-gendered (a person who identifies as the sex they were assigned at birth)
- Closeted - Someone in the LGBT+ community who is not open
- Come out - Someone in the LGBT+ community who has revealed that they are part of this community to their friends, family, etc.
- Demisexual / Demiromantic - Someone who identifies as demisexual only feels sexual attraction to someone after they’ve formed a strong emotional connection with them. Compared to the general population, most people who are demisexual rarely feel sexual attraction, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity. Someone who identifies as demiromantic is slightly different because they need to feel an emotional connection with someone before they can feel romantic toward them. People of any sexual orientation can also be demiromantic.
- Femme - Anyone who has more of a feminine gender expression
- Futch - A fusing of the words “feminine” and butch” to describe a lesbian who possesses both feminine and masculine traits
- Gaydar - A person’s ability to tell whether someone else is gay
- Genderqueer - Someone who identifies as genderqueer does not follow binary gender norms. They may be non-binary, agender, pangender, genderfluid, or another gender identity.
- Grayromantic / Gray-Ace - Someone who identifies as graysexual feels sexual attraction infrequently or has less of a desire to engage in sexual activity.
- Homoflexible - A person who identifies as gay most of the time, despite having some attraction to the opposite sex.
- Intersex - A general term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the binary of “female” or “male”. In the past, being intersex was known as having a disorder of sex development (DSD); however, being intersex isn’t a disorder, disease or condition. Being intersex doesn’t mean you need any special treatments or care. But some people who are intersex choose gender affirmation options if their gender doesn’t match the one they were assigned at birth.
- Kiki - A social gathering or party with friends to spill tea, divulge secrets, and calm nerves
- Lipstick Lesbian - An ultra-feminine lesbian who is more girly and glam
- Nonbinary - Sometimes shortened to “enby”, it's an umbrella term that encompasses many different ways to understand one’s gender. Nonbinary is an adjective used by people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the binary gender categories of “man” and “woman.”
- Pansexual / panromantic - Someone who identifies as panesexual feels romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to people regardless of their gender. People of any gender identity can and do identify as pansexual. While similar, someone who is panromantic feels a romantic attraction to people regardless of their gender. The main difference between the two is that some people may not experience romantic attraction to all genders to which they are sexually attracted.
- Polyamorous / polyromantic - Someone who is polyamorous practices ethical, consensual, and non-monogamy, which means all parties are aware of and consent to practice non-monogamy. They have romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time. Someone who is polyromantic experiences romantic attraction to multiple genders, but not necessarily all of them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are also sexually attracted to multiple genders. Romantic and sexual attraction are actually two different facets of your orientation, and polyromantic as a term only describes your romantic attraction towards other people.
- Purr - A play off the word "periodt." This is used when someone wants to finish a conversation.
- Queen - The embodiment of an amazing, uplifting individual that slays and encourages others.
- Stud - Someone that is good looking
- Slay - This is said when someone does an impressive job.
- Throw shade - Saying something backhanded or rude to another person
- Trade - A man that is extremely attractive and hyper-masculine that may appear gay
- Werk - A term shouted to convey approval or encouragement
Talk Dirty to Me: LGBTQ+ Terms Used in Erotic Discussions
Whether you’re discussing your romantic plans with a partner or want to gossip with your roommates about your walk of shame, the following LGBTQ+ terms will help you learn the proper lingo for more intimate conversations. Anon - Someone who wants to stay anonymous or unknown during sex
- Bear - A strong, burly gay man with a lot of body hair
- Bussy - A male’s asshole
- Daddy - An affectionate way to address your fuckbuddy, partner, or someone who you find attractive
- Dopplebanger - Hooking up with someone who could be your doppelganger
- Cruising - Walking or driving around areas to find another man for anal sex
- Cub - The younger version of a “bear”. Someone who is hairy, masculine, and husky
- FWB - Friends with benefits. A friendship where you have an intimate, no-strings-attached type of relationship
- Jock - A strong masculine man with a lot of muscle
- Otter - A hairy gay man that has a smaller frame than a bear does
- Pillow princess - Someone who is more gentle and likes to take a submissive role during sex
- Power bottom - The bottom in the relationship. Someone who is bossy and likes to take control during sex.
- Sexual attraction - Having attraction that makes you want sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).
- Romantic attraction - Having attraction that makes you desire romantic contact or interaction with another person(s).
- Sexual orientation - Refers to who you are attracted to, sexually and romantically. For example, sexual orientation includes terms such as heterosexual, gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, queer, or questioning.
- Twink - A gay man with very little body hair and boyish features.
- Vers - A gay man that discloses they are willing to be either a top or bottom (usually in a gay chat room). “Vers” is short for versatile.
New LGBTQ+ Slang in 2023
Language is ever-changing, growing and expanding over time. So we’ve decided to add a list of some of the newest terms to know:
- Situationship: A relationship that hasn't been formalized - aka, you're having sex or romance but you're not official.
- Rizz: Someone's charm or ability to flirt - ie, "having rizz", or "rizzing up someone". "Rizz" is short for charisma.