Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email
I run into Marco outside the legendary Julius Bar in the heart of New York’s West Village on a chilly October night. He’s a colorful bearded queerdo in his late twenties, who I first met when he showed up to my Halloween play party dressed as Jesus.
Marco is only too happy to reveal his innermost thoughts as we share a cab back to our neighborhood. Young people today have no shame, thankfully. We discussed the following dirty details over a scenic cab ride (as our driver tried desperately not to overhear).
Adam: At what point did you decide that you were a bottom?
Marco: Not at the beginning. The first time—I was 14—this guy tried to top me but it didn’t work out. In high school I didn't have very much action, but I was mostly a top. I started thinking I was a bottom at the beginning of my post-college life, when I was 22.
Was there an inciting event that made you think ‘okay, now I'm a bottom’
Sure. In my sophomore year, I started dating a vers boy. We had equal experience in the bedroom, but, while I was only top, he had experience in both roles. He didn't have a giant D, so playing with him was good for exploration, getting my taste for it.
I don't own a shower shot, I'm kind of like a ‘two bulb and done’ type of guy.
Then I got an Amazon gift card from my relatives and a light bulb went on. I don’t know what possessed me but I bought a pretty big toy for seventy dollars. I hadn’t done poppers at that point; I was no learned bottom. Playing with the toy and dating this guy started me thinking ‘this is actually something I enjoy’.
PLAY WITH CONFIDENCE It's all in the science—get yours today.
How involved is your preparation for bottoming?
It really depends. I feel like in the recent past it's been more involved. But I don't own a shower shot, I'm kind of like a ‘two bulb and done’ type of guy.
Right. That’s really what you should do.
Exactly. If it's more messed up than that, I know that means that I'm just an oral queen for the night. Or I'm good for the first hour and then we're going to transition to oral. So I try not to push the envelope too much because I definitely have given myself butt issues from like trying too hard. Like using freezing cold water so that I cramp and then it all comes out at once.
That’s not good for your gut. Future Method Cleanser avoids tap water from stripping the protective lining of your butt. It’s great you’re conscious of that.
Yeah. I'm not necessarily always making the best choices or taking action to prevent it. But yes, I definitely am aware and like it stresses me out in small ways.
What do you expect from your tops in terms of their behavior?
I see myself as a power sub. I'm willing to be in service and perform, to be on my best behavior. But that’s a means to my pleasure. Sometimes, with people I don’t have a close rapport with, I’m often careful to not confuse or turn them off by the level of control that I want.
The bottom is in control—it’s the most important thing my therapist taught me. Don’t let some guy go at you for two hours if it hurts. You’re in control, tell them to stop.
Sure. I expect patience in my tops. It’s been empowering to me that I feel I can now say, “I need a break” without holding back or waiting extra long. But sometimes it also means the fun is over, whether I like it or not.
What questions do you wish you could ask your tops, but can’t?
I'm always confused by pure tops, who can’t explore even minor levels of butt play. That confuses me. You might not want it the way that I beg to be. I had a recent ex. We got to the point where I could stick a finger in, once in a blue moon. It was a cute thing we could share, but that took years.
When speaking to pure tops, I’ve found they just don’t like the pain or get worried about cleanliness.
That kind of reminds me, one thing I definitely do expect is for a top to be understanding around cleanliness. If there's an accident, it's not the end of the world. I expect the top to be like “Oh babe, why don't you go take another minute?”
But if you had to pick anyone living or dead and let’s just say they’re all huge. It could be Einstein or Alexander the Great...
That French guy, that Mary Kate Olsen is married to. What’s his name?
Olivier Sarkozy?
Yes! He's the former French president's brother. He's hot. Gigantic and hairy and angry looking. French is a good start. Extra skin and kind of quiet and lets me talk most of the time.
About the author
Adam Baran is a Brooklyn-based filmmaker, writer, curator, nightlife mensch, and pleasure activist. He served as the NY Contributing Editor of celebrated queer publication BUTT Magazine for many years, wrote the first season of the hit gay webseries Hunting Season, and produced the upcoming Netflix documentary Circus of Books.
The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.
